8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “Are You an Ezer?”

by Marilynn Chadwick

It’s important to understand honor as a biblical concept, shedding light on our God-given roles as husband and wife. In college, I was an atheist with strong feminist leanings. After I became a follower of Christ, it was God’s Word which opened my eyes to His beautiful and somewhat mysterious plan for marriage.

Everything God created was good. But He looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Something was missing. So God said: "I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). God created woman from man—from his same substance: “So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs …Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man…” (Genesis 2:20-24).

Marriage was God’s gift to humanity. Eve was Adam’s companion, but the Bible also calls her his helper. In Hebrew, “helper,” or ezer, means “to support.” It’s a combination of two roots: "to rescue, to save," and "to be strong." The word ezer in the Bible most often refers to God as the helper, usually in times of danger or battle.

Are you an ezer to your husband?

The word ezer is also closely related to the word for rock. I honor David when I’m strong like a rock in my walk with the Lord. Strengthen your heart with the Word of God, prayer, spiritual disciplines, and biblical community. In the process, I hope you’ll see that being a strong woman of God, while also submitting to your husband’s spiritual leadership, go hand in hand. As wives, we respond best to our husbands’ spiritual leadership when we trust God and his design for our marriage.

When you grasp what it means to be an ezer, you begin to get an image of your role as a rock, not a doormat. Your challenge is to become strong so that you are a source of strength for a husband who will sometimes be weak.

I’ve learned that an important part of showing honor to a strong husband like David is to be his “rock of support” when everything around him feels like it's crashing down. Think about what it means to be strong like a “rock” for our husbands, families, and communities. Lord knows we need more women who are willing to live strong as ezers in this hurting and broken world.

___________

This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband: “What is Honor?”

by Marilynn Chadwick

What is honor and why is it important? To honor someone is to treat them with admiration or respect. Honor conveys dignity, honesty, and integrity.

Several years ago my husband’s beloved college basketball coach, North Carolina’s legendary Dean Smith, passed away. Next to his own father, David says Coach Smith was the most significant man in his life. Even superstar Michael Jordan called Coach Smith his “second father.” Why? Because along with great basketball, Coach Smith taught his players about life.  

When I first met my basketball player-turned-preacher husband, I was a University of Georgia girl and a die-hard football fan. Basketball, not so much. But I loved David, and I grew to love basketball. Soon after we got married, Coach Smith sent me a handwritten note welcoming me to the “Carolina Family.” He always remembered my alma mater and my college major. He knew our children by name. Seriously. Who does that?

After Coach Smith’s passing, I was able to write an editorial honoring my husband’s legendary basketball coach. Responses to my article, some from well-known leaders in our community, caused me to wonder if our culture is thirsty for honor. Public reaction to Dean Smith’s passing seemed to convey a nostalgic yearning for role models, for dads, for men of honor.

In fact, a prominent defense attorney in our community sent me a handwritten note sharing how his own dad had been such an honorable man. A federal judge and a bank president both weighed in on the subject of honor. Young moms wrote to tell me about their “amazing husbands” and vowed to be more intentional to honor them. Had I touched a nerve?  

Maybe it’s because honor is lacking in our homes. Families today are in trouble. Studies show that 70% of divorces are now initiated by women. Honor was God’s idea in the first place—especially in marriage. No wonder we’re thirsty for this sometimes-forgotten virtue. What would happen if we sparked a movement of honor in our homes, our communities, and our world?

Over the next two weeks, we will explore honor from a biblical point of view; specifically addressing wives. I want to give every wife 8 practical tips on how you can begin to honor your husband and create a culture of honor in your home. My dream is that together, we really could see a movement of honor that would spill over into a hurting and broken world.

____________

This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife: “Becoming One”

by David Chadwick

Remember the definition of honor: “to regard with great respect, to prize, to admire, to give special recognition, to demonstrate high respect or great esteem for someone.” What a rich and powerful word!

I have spent the past two weeks giving husbands tools for how they can honor their wives. We wrap up our journey today. I pray these “8 Greats” give you practical ways to interact with your wife and bring honor into your marriage.

By the way, next week Marilynn will do the same with you wives: 8 Great ways to honor your husbands.

We see the theme of honor interwoven throughout the Bible (Exodus 20:12, Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 3:7). It is clearly important to the heart of the Father.

Let’s look back on the “8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife.”

• Trust Her Gut

• Be a Man of God

• Encourage Her Gifts

• Respect Her Opinion

• Ask This Question Often: “How is Your Heart?”

• Share Your Heart

• Be a Guardian and Gardener

• Use Words Wisely

I believe that if you lead the way and start to put these tools into practice, you will see a culture of honor increase in your marriage and your family.

Romans 12:10 says, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” It’s the one place in the Bible where we are called to compete with one another: in giving honor!

Imagine what will happen if you and your wife begin to try and outdo one another in honor. Love will increase. The home will get healthier. Jesus will be glorified.

The goal of marriage is to see two very different, unique, special individuals become one. As two become one, biblical marriage becomes the most beautiful reflection of the love between Jesus Christ and the bride.

Let’s reclaim honor in our marriages! It is essential to accomplishing this goal of two becoming one and seeing the Gospel of Jesus displayed through our lives.

_____________

This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!